In the past week I have been out of town twice, once was for a trip to Sea World with my husband and my little. In the other instance of travel, we went to a funeral. I get so caught up with life and trying to be the best at everything I attempt that I sometimes forget to go slow and appreciate.
The weather was HORRIBLE at Sea World so we received Sunny Day Passes to come back another time. I could have been bent out of shape about that but I chose not to. I look at that as another opportunity for me to spend time with my little family. It is a time for us to bond at a later date, that I am committed to and I am looking forward to. There are many that would LOVE an opportunity to spend a carefree day with their family but cannot. I need to seize and hold every opportunity I can with my loved ones. I also need to build them in and schedule them. They will not happen spontaneously. I need to make the date and commit to what we call in my house “Hugs and Lovin’ ” time. I also need to make sure I make that time for myself–because I need to be kinder to myself and give myself some hugs and lovin’. That may look like a hot cup of tea in a quiet room for five minutes. But it is necessary.
The funeral was sad for me. My husbands Abuela passed and he was devastated. I felt the loss but it was different. In a family of people who may not have initially accepted me (and some who have still not 8 years of marriage in) because I am culturally and racially different, Abuela took one look at me and claimed me as hers. She never judged. She said I had picked up a little weight and was so pretty. She also wanted me to have another baby. She had a quiet strength to her even though she was well over 90. She spoke and you listened. But she was always a comfort.
This year I will set the things I think of as priorities and let the rest of my obligations fill in the gaps. I need to take the time to love my family, and I need to take the time to love myself. I need to care for both before I can think about being a productive member of any workforce or society. These are my most important needs, these are things I cannot live without.
I want to be an even more amazing teacher this year. But I also want a balanced life. I cannot care for others and pour so much time into them that I neglect those closest to me. So I won’t. Here’s to Great Expectations for me.